SHOULD WOMEN BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE?

Everyone seems to know what a man should DO. A good man should never cheat, a good man should treat his woman with respect… good man this and good men that. Is it that there are no husband material left out there? The notion is all men are doing something wrong. So I ask you, are woman doing everything right? If the answer is no then what are they doing wrong? There are thousands of quotes about how a strong woman should never need a man and what a woman should and should not accept. But nothing seems to denote what a man should not tolerate. What’s wrong here?

OK ladies, let’s have an honest conversation. Don’t take this as an attack, rather, use it as an awakening. How is your ability to find a husband? How come every man you date already has a woman? Other women are happily married yet you can’t find a husband? If he’s not married, he has a girlfriend. If he’s single, the question of whether your potential relationship will end up in marriage is typically out of your hands. Correct me if I’m wrong but many women are giving up on love and settling to become single mothers. If you have to settle what will you settle for? A man with some flaws or being a single mother? Will you even settle? What can women do to fix this problem? Is there any responsibility on the woman’s part?

Many women have given up “trying” to find the right man but every week they turn down a potential husband. I’m going to focus my attention on North America, Europe and Australia since these are the main cultures that have deviated from the time immemorial tradition of how a husband finds a wife or what a wife should do or be like. These cultures also have the highest divorce rate as well as the highest number of unmarried single women with children.

 

Yes, this article is all about you. Ladies, we have already chastised the men for their shortcomings. In fact, we have resorted to the conclusion that “good men do not exist” or are very rare. So now it’s your turn to face the music. What is a good woman? Are there many wife material? Is a wife hard to find? Again, please do not take this as an attack. It is an attempt to address a topic that people avoid. In a world of liberated women, it is worth asking as men are, are women to be held accountable for their decisions and actions or is it truly the man’s fault? Is he a husband waiting for a wife to come by?

Take a look at the map below: The pink area shows countries where there are more women than men and the blue area shows countries where there are more men than women. Perhaps we will arrived at some interesting conclusions. This blog is not about women who are not looking, already have a man or are among those who can get and keep an exclusive boyfriend or husband whenever she wants for as long as she want. It is not about the lady who is not trying to find a husband. This blog is for the hopeless romantic, sensual, somewhat innocent woman who is ready and willing to do what it takes and has a lot of love to offer a husband; who is also emotionally strong knowing she deserves marriage and a family.

The lonely divorced, the heartbroken, the lover, young or mature who knows that she possess the skills to have and upkeep a HAPPY home. One without mental reservation against her future husband. This is for the woman who steps to the plate and take full responsibility for her decision and actions. But for one reason or another she cannot find a husband. According to the map above, women, no matter how cute, special or unique, seems to be in endless supply. The law of supply states, the higher the supply, the lower the price or the quantity demanded. If we were to apply this analogy to the sex ratio, it will be necessary for every single woman to note why husbands are far rarer to find than wives.

Ladies ask yourself; if you could have the man of your dreams with you right now what would he be like? Before I go further, I’d like to reiterate that this is not to cast blame or judge you. It is an educative article that discusses the topic of finding true love without mocking, agitating or belittling anyone. The goal here is to give each other ideas as to what could be improved in our behavior and perceptions or to take responsibility for our actions. Yes I know, it’s not fair that he can have ten good women whenever he wants when you can barely find one good man. It is important to note that while you may throw him out for deserving better, the chances of him finding another good woman are far greater than your chances of replacing him with a better man. This is assuming of cores that we both agree that domestic or psychological abuse are out of the question.

 

There is a high ratio of women compared to men in the world. You know you are beautiful, you feel sexy, you are proudly independent. You don’t want to be used. You seem sophisticated. You are a beautiful, smart and articulate woman. Yes, you are special! But these are NOT all the factors that determines how men choose a life mate? What makes you beautiful? It’s your outwards looks, your smarts and your positive behavior towards the one you attract? You can get 100 Likes and Comments on Facebook with one photo but that does not mean you are wife material?

It’s your voice, your body language, your style, your availability and your consciousness that makes you “wifeable.” These are the important points to remember especially if you get 100 phone numbers from different men but none of those 100 men end up being the one. Is it the 100 men’s fault or did you have a part to play? Say it’s men’s fault and hope to get lucky or accept some responsibility and become proactive and find your husband. The question becomes, if being smart, beautiful and unique is not enough then what else do you have to do or be to pull in the one to spend the rest of your life with? Responsible words and actions.

 

Ladies, let’s assume that love is not the issue. Sparks fly, romance and sex only gets better. You love him and he loves you. And yet life must be lived. Bills must be paid, food must go on the table while the necessities of life are provided. Back in the day it was the man’s responsibility to work and pay all the bills and then provide food, protection and security for his woman and children. In return the woman’s responsibility was to care for the home and raise the children. Before that even, cavemen went out to hunt and fend off hooligans while cave women stayed within the protection of the cave. That was then. Today, we live in a digital age where physical strength earns far less than technological know how.

Women are increasingly better at working with technology which then makes them breadwinners. Women have earned the right to be today’s hunters. Quite frankly women don’t even have to wait around for a man to show up because she can simply run to the grocery store and buy food. Women do not need men to protect them because they can call 911. So naturally if she does not need him to hunt for her or protect her from outlaws and bandits then why should she have to clean, cook, raise children and be a stay at home mom? This change in the equation of a family has altered the entire relationship system which then has to be rearranged. The problem is LOVE did not change. The way how one person loves another has remained the same as it were.

Imagine having to work your whole life to provide but instead of a thank you, you were told your efforts are no longer needed. She can fend for herself, she does not have to uphold anymore traditional obligations. Can you imagine the impact this has on the family structure? That has to change as well. The children respect and appreciate their mother more than their father for starters. This is apoplectic since more men are unqualified for jobs while women earn higher wages. Can the courts reverse alimony laws, reverse spousal support since more men stay at home while their women earn more? This is how complicated it is today.

Does this sound right with the traditional mindset in general? No, it shows the need for double income households. A man has to have something else to offer beside the usual food, protection, cloth and shelter and women have to offer more than cooking, cleaning and caring for babies. Give and take, some are still traditional, preferring old customs while others are new age thinkers who frown on old traditions. On the work site the woman becomes accountable for her quality of work ever bearing in mind that being female no longer exaggerates her. Some women are not ready for this.

 

Yes, he will always offer his support but he is no longer obligated to be responsible. Her desire to be relieved of traditional obligations also relieved him of his responsibilities. Relationships are about love but to make it work there has to be a negotiation. No matter how you spin it. One person furnishes this, the other addresses that …and both parties are content after receiving what the other had to offer. This is the foundation of a mature relationship. Love is the cement that holds it in place.

When you add love in this mix you’ll find that selfishness and greed or insecurities and distrust can no longer exist. Set aside traditional customs, cultural difference and baggage from past failed relationships. Now that women are capable of going out and doing it on their own, a traditional man is free to flounder away. Hence why the typical ‘good men’ are fading away. To have good men and good women in a none traditional setting simply means the definition of good should be revised to fit the requirements of this age. However, this will not change the need for love or the need to pay bills or provide the basic necessities of life.*